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Do you trust Uncle Ron??

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jagmad

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Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post22 Jan 2014, 22:12

"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member" Julius Henry Marx

"If necessity is the mother of invention, then mother is now standing at the door calling us in to do our home work"

IF YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR SMART WATCH DOESN'T NEED CHARGING AT LEAST EVERY WEEK YOU EITHER...
A. HAVE NO LIFE/FRIENDS. OR NEED FOR ONE.
B. YOU NEED TO SWITCH IT ON.
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bucko170

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post22 Jan 2014, 22:25

He doesn't just sell watches and the description is accurate, if it's a watch you want and don't mind a gamble it might be worth a punt, the custom fees have to be factored in to any bid though!
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Kasper

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post22 Jan 2014, 22:26

oogh yes i have recognized him....Rene Artois :grin1:

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post22 Jan 2014, 22:44

In the 'Seller Information' section he describes himself as a seller of Pocket Knives so I suppose there is a reasonable chance that he has come across the watch by chance - I would still only bid under the assumption that the watch was not working. I already have this watch, if it was a rare watch that I really wanted I might feel different but in this case it is quite a common watch and there are plenty of working examples to be found so this auction doesn't raise my blood sugar enough to excite my bidding finger. ;-)
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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post22 Jan 2014, 23:11

bucko170 wrote:In the 'Seller Information' section he describes himself as a seller of Pocket Knives so I suppose there is a reasonable chance that he has come across the watch by chance - I would still only bid under the assumption that the watch was not working. I already have this watch, if it was a rare watch that I really wanted I might feel different but in this case it is quite a common watch and there are plenty of working examples to be found so this auction doesn't raise my blood sugar enough to excite my bidding finger. ;-)


What about if Ron chucks the two ladies in as well. !@@! !@@!
"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member" Julius Henry Marx

"If necessity is the mother of invention, then mother is now standing at the door calling us in to do our home work"

IF YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR SMART WATCH DOESN'T NEED CHARGING AT LEAST EVERY WEEK YOU EITHER...
A. HAVE NO LIFE/FRIENDS. OR NEED FOR ONE.
B. YOU NEED TO SWITCH IT ON.
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bucko170

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post23 Jan 2014, 00:50

jagmad wrote:......What about if Ron chucks the two ladies in as well. !@@! !@@!


Well I don't think Gordon Kaye is going to be interested in them. ;-)
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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post23 Jan 2014, 01:09

bucko170 wrote:
jagmad wrote:......What about if Ron chucks the two ladies in as well. !@@! !@@!


Well I don't think Gordon Kaye is going to be interested in them. ;-)

M:)W:)M
Reminded me of this:


ARTHUR
Hello.

FRENCH MAN
'Allo. Whoo is eet?

ARTHUR
I am King Arthur and these are the Knights of the Round
Table. Whose castle is this?

MAN
This is the castle of of my master, Guy de Loimbard.

ARTHUR
Please go and tell your master that we have been charged by God
with a sacred quest, and if he will give us food and shelter for
this night he can join us in our quest for the Holy Grail.

MAN
Well, I'll ask him, but I don't think he'll be very keen.
He's already got one, you see?

ARTHUR
What?

GALAHAD
He says they've already got one!

They are stunned.

ARTHUR
Are you sure he's got one?

MAN
Oh yes. It's very nice

CUT TO BATTLEMENTS. THE TAUNTER (MAN) turns to some others.

MAN
I told him we already got one.

They all giggle.
M:)W:)M
"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member" Julius Henry Marx

"If necessity is the mother of invention, then mother is now standing at the door calling us in to do our home work"

IF YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR SMART WATCH DOESN'T NEED CHARGING AT LEAST EVERY WEEK YOU EITHER...
A. HAVE NO LIFE/FRIENDS. OR NEED FOR ONE.
B. YOU NEED TO SWITCH IT ON.
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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post24 Jan 2014, 16:25

A classic monty python movie :-D
I like this part very much, but my absolute favorites are the black knight part and the knights of ni part. M:)W:)M
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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post25 Jan 2014, 00:40

We are not the knights who say ni anymore! We are now the knights who say ickey ickey ickey M:)W:)M
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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post25 Jan 2014, 04:12

Sorry but you for got this one:

CART DRIVER
Bring out your dead!

We follow the cart through a wretched, impoverished plague-ridden
village. A few starved mongrels run about in the mud scavenging.
In the open doorway of one house perhaps we jug glimpse a pair of
legs dangling from the ceiling. In another doorway an OLD WOMAN
is beating a cat against a wall rather like one does with a mat.
The cart passes round a dead donkey or cow in the mud. And a MAN
tied to a cart is being hammered to death by four NUNS with
huge mallets.

CART DRIVER

Bring out your dead!

There are legs stick out of windows and doors. Two MEN are fighting
in the mud - covered from head to foot in it. Another MAN is on his
hands in knees shovelling mud into his mouth. We just catch
sight of a MAN falling into a well.

CART DRIVER
Bring out your dead!

LARGE MAN
Here's one!

CART DRIVER
Ninepence.

BODY
I'm not dead!

CART DRIVER
What?

LARGE MAN
Nothing... There's your ninepence.

BODY
I'm not dead!

CART DRIVER
'Ere. He says he's not dead.

LARGE MAN
Yes he is.

BODY
I'm not!

CART DRIVER
He isn't.

LARGE MAN
He will be soon. He's very ill.

BODY
I'm getting better!

LARGE MAN
You're not. You'll be stone dead in a few minutes.

CART DRIVER
I can't take him like this. It's against regulations.

BODY
I don't want to go on the cart.

LARGE MAN
Don't be such a baby.

CART DRIVER
I can't take him.

BODY
I feel fine.

LARGE MAN
Do me a favour.

CART DRIVER
I can't.

LARGE MAN
Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes. He won't
be long.

CART DRIVER
I promised I'd be at the Robinson's. They've lost nine
today.

LARGE MAN
When's your next round?

CART DRIVER
Thursday.

BODY
I think I'll go for a walk.

LARGE MAN
You're not fooling anyone you know.
(to CART DRIVER)
Isn't there anything you could do?

BODY
(singing unrecognisably)
I feel happy... I feel happy.

The CART DRIVER looks at the LARGE MAN for a moment. Then they both
do a quick furtive look up and down the street. The CART DRIVER
very swiftly brings up a club and hits the OLD MAN. (Out of shot
but the singing stops after a loud bonk noise.)

LARGE MAN
(handing over the money at last)
Thanks very much.

CART DRIVER
That's all right. See you on Thursday.

They turn ... Suddenly all the village fall to their knees, touching
forelocks etc. ARTHUR and PATSY ride into SHOT, slightly nose to
the air, they ride through without acknowledging anybody. After
they pass, the LARGE MAN turns to the CART DRIVER.

LARGE MAN
Who's that then?

CART DRIVER
(Grudgingly)
I dunno, Must be a king.

LARGE MAN
Why?

CART DRIVER
He hasn't got shit all over him..... M:)W:)M
"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member" Julius Henry Marx

"If necessity is the mother of invention, then mother is now standing at the door calling us in to do our home work"

IF YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR SMART WATCH DOESN'T NEED CHARGING AT LEAST EVERY WEEK YOU EITHER...
A. HAVE NO LIFE/FRIENDS. OR NEED FOR ONE.
B. YOU NEED TO SWITCH IT ON.
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jagmad

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post25 Jan 2014, 04:42

And my absolute favourite:

ARTHUR and PATSY riding. They stop and look. We see a castle in the
distance, and before it a PEASANT is working away on his knees trying
to dig up the earth with his bare hands and a twig. ARTHUR and
PATSY ride up, and stop before the PEASANT

ARTHUR
Old woman!

DENNIS
Man!

ARTHUR
Man. I'm sorry. Old man, What knight live in that castle
over there?

DENNIS
I'm thirty-seven.

ARTHUR
What?

DENNIS:
I'm thirty-seven ... I'm not old.

ARTHUR:
Well - I can't just say: "Hey, Man!'

DENNIS
Well you could say: "Dennis"

ARTHUR
I didn't know you were called Dennis.

DENNIS
You didn't bother to find out, did you?

ARTHUR
I've said I'm sorry about the old woman, but from the behind
you looked ...

DENNIS
What I object to is that you automatically treat me like
an inferior ...

ARTHUR
Well ... I AM king.

DENNIS
Oh, very nice. King, eh! I expect you've got a palace and fine
clothes and courtiers and plenty of food. And how d'you get that?
By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist
dogma which perpetuates the social and economic differences in our
society! If there's EVER going to be any progress ...

An OLD WOMAN appears.

OLD WOMAN
Dennis! There's some lovely filth down here ... Oh!
how d'you do?

ARTHUR
How d'you do, good lady ... I am Arthur, King of the Britons ...
can you tell me who lives in that castle?

OLD WOMAN
King of the WHO?

ARTHUR
The Britons.

OLD WOMAN
Who are the Britons?

ARTHUR
All of us are ... we are all Britons.

DENNIS winks at the OLD WOMAN.

... and I am your king ....

OLD WOMAN
Ooooh! I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were
an autonomous collective ...

DENNIS
You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship,
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes ...

OLD WOMAN
There you are, bringing class into it again ...

DENNIS
That's what it's all about ... If only -

ARTHUR
Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in
that castle?

OLD WOMAN
No one live there.

ARTHUR
Well, who is your lord?

OLD WOMAN
We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR
What?

DENNIS
I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take
it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

ARTHUR
Yes.

DENNIS
... But all the decision of that officer ...

ARTHUR
Yes, I see.

DENNIS
... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority
in the case of purely internal affairs.

ARTHUR
Be quiet!

DENNIS
... but a two-thirds majority ...

ARTHUR
Be quiet! I order you to shut up.

OLD WOMAN
Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR
I am your king!

OLD WOMAN
Well, I didn't vote for you.

ARTHUR
You don't vote for kings.

OLD WOMAN
Well, how did you become king, then?

ARTHUR
The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite,
held Excalibur aloft from the bosom of the water to signify by
Divine Providence ... that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur ...
That is why I am your king!

OLD WOMAN
Is Frank in? He'd be able to deal with this one.

DENNIS
Look, strange women lying on their backs in ponds handing out
swords ... that's no basis for a system of government. Supreme
executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from
some farcical aquatic ceremony.

ARTHUR
Be quiet!

DENNIS
You can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

ARTHUR
Shut up!

DENNIS
I mean, if I went around saying I was an Emperor because some
moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, people would
put me away! M:)W:)M

ARTHUR
(Grabbing him by the collar)
Shut up, will you. Shut up!

DENNIS
Ah! NOW ... we see the violence inherent in the system.

ARTHUR
Shut up!

PEOPLE (i.e. other PEASANTS) are appearing and watching.

DENNIS
(calling)
Come and see the violence inherent in the system.
Help, help, I'm being repressed!

ARTHUR
(aware that people are now coming out and watching)
Bloody peasant!
(pushes DENNIS over into mud and prepares to ride off)

DENNIS
Oh, Did you hear that! What a give-away.

ARTHUR
Come on, patsy.

They ride off.

DENNIS
(in the background as we PULL OUT)
did you see him repressing me, then? That's what I've
been on about ...
"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member" Julius Henry Marx

"If necessity is the mother of invention, then mother is now standing at the door calling us in to do our home work"

IF YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR SMART WATCH DOESN'T NEED CHARGING AT LEAST EVERY WEEK YOU EITHER...
A. HAVE NO LIFE/FRIENDS. OR NEED FOR ONE.
B. YOU NEED TO SWITCH IT ON.
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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post27 Jan 2014, 22:21

I agree, that was a good scene too jagmad, but the whole film is just hilarious.
And the coconuts used for simulating a horse , it just kills me M:)W:)M
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jagmad

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post27 Jan 2014, 23:42

Seiko&Casio Lcd's wrote:I agree, that was a good scene too jagmad, but the whole film is just hilarious.
And the coconuts used for simulating a horse , it just kills me M:)W:)M


I know. I remember going to the pictures to see this and the crowed laughed so loud and for so long,
when they came over the hill, dialogue was drowned out for a good 15 seconds. M:)W:)M

Oh happy memories.........
"I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member" Julius Henry Marx

"If necessity is the mother of invention, then mother is now standing at the door calling us in to do our home work"

IF YOUR MOBILE PHONE OR SMART WATCH DOESN'T NEED CHARGING AT LEAST EVERY WEEK YOU EITHER...
A. HAVE NO LIFE/FRIENDS. OR NEED FOR ONE.
B. YOU NEED TO SWITCH IT ON.
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fronzelneekburm

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Re: Do you trust Uncle Ron??

Post28 Jan 2014, 11:40

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.

Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?

Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?

Sir Lancelot: Blue.

Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.

Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Sir Robin: That's easy.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.

Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?

Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?

[pause]

Sir Robin: I don't know that.

[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]

Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.

Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?

Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

Galahad: I seek the Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?

Galahad: Blue. No, yel...

[he is also thrown over the edge]

Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.

Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?

King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.

Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?

King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.

Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.

[he is thrown over]

Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.

Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?

King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.

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